First Responders

You answered the Calling.

You were meant for this, and you’re good at it.

The calling is public safety and saving lives.

Law Enforcement, Firefighters, Paramedics/EMTs, Dispatch, Corrections, Nurses, and Doctors have all answered this calling.

You’re in a family of responders.

But that calling takes its toll.

Some days are routine, but other days you witness the unimaginable. It’s hard to unsee, un-hear, or un-smell what you experience almost daily. Those images include:

a child abused beyond recognition by his parent
an officer-involved shooting, and that officer was you
people screaming in a burning building
trying to save a crush injury victim, knowing the probable outcome
the smell of gasoline and exhaust as you approach a fatal accident
even the haunting whimper of the dog that was in the wrong place at the wrong time
being under investigation (enough said!).

That’s why, instead of being in the Window of Tolerance, where you are calm and grounded, the reality of First Response is “Hyperarousal.” You’re always on alert. Hypervigilance is a superpower for you. Of course it is. It protects you and those with whom you work. Think about it. Where do you position yourself even when you go to a restaurant or a public venue? Where you can see the door and everyone coming and going. Of course!

But living in constant “Hyperarousal” with no opportunity to come down is unsustainable. It takes 24-48 hours to return to the Window of Tolerance. How often do you get that? Rarely. So, what happens when you finally have a chance to go home for those 24-48 hours of rest? Instead of coming down into that calm and grounded Window of Tolerance, you slide through it and fall into the land of “Hypoarousal,” where you feel empty, unavailable, numb, and want to be left alone.

Now that’s no fun!!

So, what do you do? You go back to work. To the land of hyperarousal, where you feel alive again. It’s a crazy cycle.

Yes, the job changes you.

Cynicism makes you think the worst of everyone and everything, and a victim mentality fools you into thinking you can’t control your life, causing you to lose your sense of self.

Soon your only friends are First Responders, because no one else gets it.

Dark humor becomes the norm, and only other Responders understand.

You disengage from personal life, and family and friendships suffer.

It’s okay, until it’s not.

Critical incidents pile on top of each other. Images intrude into your days and nights. Sleep evades you, and nightmares creep in. It’s hard to focus because you feel confused by the anxiety.

You wonder, “Is this the end of my career or perhaps of life as I know it?”

Everything is falling apart. Your home life and your marriage are crumbling. Though they’re your rock, you push them away.

All you do is sit alone, blindly clicking through TV shows. No one understands.

First Responders have an unwritten code.

Never let them know it gets to you. Others might question whether they can count on you anymore.

It’s a lot, but you keep pushing through.

No matter what, you stay silent. “Suck it up” Is the rule.

Why would you dare to talk to someone about it? A therapist would never get it!

I DO understand!

I am uniquely qualified to help you. Believe it or not, culturally competent therapists DO exist. These are therapists who have immersed themselves in your culture and have seen, heard, and smelled horror, just as you have.

I am one of those therapists. I acknowledge I am not a police officer, in the fire department, or an EMT or Paramedic, but I serve those who are. As a Certified First Responder Counselor, I made it my business for ten years to physically be in your world, exposing myself to images, sounds, and smells I also had to process.

More recently, I was proud to be a clinician chosen to participate in South Carolina’s First Responder Assistance and Support Team’s “Mile In Our Boots” program. I felt the intensity and the emotional and physical weight of what you do, whether LEO, Firefighter, Paramedic, or Dispatch. It’s an experience I’ll never forget.

There is hope.

Seeing a therapist may sound as intimidating as the problems that lead you to need to talk to someone. But I promise it helps.

First Responders face many challenges and must address them to remain effective in their work and lives.

Some of the challenges include Post Traumatic Stress, Depression and Anxiety, Burnout and Compassion Fatigue, Broken Marriage and/or Broken Relationships, Sleep Problems, Addictions and Compulsions, Disability, and the insecurity of Being Under Investigation.

How can I help?

Through Brainspotting, we target the part of your brain where your challenging

experiences are held, helping you become less reactive to them. Then, we expand your ability to do the job even better.

Learning about your nervous system will help you notice and name your feelings, recall how to cope, and adjust how you react to what triggers you.

You’ll learn more adaptive ways of dealing with people while still caring for yourself.

Together, we’ll create a map of your significant life events, pointing out negative patterns and learning how to form new life patterns.

New communication skills will help you better understand yourself and your wife or partner, improving the quality of your life.

Therapy works.

I’ve seen positive results. Officers are returned to full active duty.

There is no more avoidance of people and places that trigger you.

Marriages and friendships are saved, and families are reunited.

Resilience is regained.

Here’s my invitation.

Return to laughter, conversation, and the enjoyment of life again.

Bring back your edge and live to fight and serve again.

Let’s talk.